6 Sexy Women That Will Hurt You

The Camelot 3000 post got me thinking. There are plenty of really bad guys in comics, but there are a fair share of horrible ladies too. Six immediately came to mind and I have put together highlights of these very nasty but very sexy women. Most women in comics are portrayed as lithe beauties so it makes the horror of their malevolence even worse. Who wants to have their soul sucked dry by a hot babe? OK, maybe some of you readers do, but in general, I think most of us would prefer to be treated nicely by fetching lasses. This list is by no means incomplete. You’re welcome to add to it. I’d be curious to see which ones frighten you.

Morgan Le Fay

To be sure, Morgan La Fey wasn’t portrayed in Camelot 3000 as scarily as others are in many horror stories today. But a lot of her evil was skin-creepingly implied. She is completely devoid of empathy and is not above using her sex to distract and destroy her enemies. Morgan is a raven haired witch that prefers wearing a rather appealing bra and panty set. Apparently, not all witches wear black robes.

For those of you out of the loop, Morgan Le Fay (also spelled a variety of other ways), is part of the Arthurian mythos (the King Arthur legend). She is an extremely powerful sorceress and a nemesis to the wizard Merlin. In Camelot 3000 (which is where most of the pictures come from), Morgan is a trickster and conspirator who uses alien creatures to attach Earth. It’s weird (but good) stuff.

If you think this is harsh, you should see what she did to her chauffeur when he forgot to signal.

DC has its own mainline version of Morgaine (outside the Camelot 3000 storyline). I have no idea why this picture reminded me of Kelis’ ridiculous song, but … well, it just did.

Marvel also has its own version of the sexy Arthurian sorceress

I’m not going to give another female horror from Camelot 3000 her own headline because Nyneve plays a very minor part in the story and she really only entranced one person (Merlin), but she is a sensual and beautiful creature … until she takes her mask off. The horror!

Click on the picture to see what Nyneve actually looks like without the mask. Yikes! And again, I don’t know why Nyneve reminded me of Miley Cyrus, but she just did.

Typhoid Mary

Mary is a schizophrenic woman that is both a kind-hearted vulnerable lady and an assassin with a psychopathic temperament. She is exceptionally seductive but uses her sex appeal to lure, then burn her victims with some sort of telekinetic force. She is primarily a foe of Daredevil, but a couple of picture below are from covers of a really good storyline featuring Wolverine that was originally published in Marvel Comics Presents (click to see awesome Sam Kieth covers of an unrelated Wolverine storyline in MCP).

Typhoid Mary is one of the very first female villains I remember. I started reading Daredevil around the time that Ann Nocenti and John Romita Jr. invented her.

Aw. How touching. It reminds me of a similar thing with Elektra. And we know how well that turned out for Matt Murdock / Daredevil.

Make up your mind! Are you going to play snoogy with Daredevil or are you going to clock him out?

You think you can control her, but you can’t. She’ll sex you up and you will burn.

This is the cover to issue #1 in a 4-issue miniseries from the 1990s.

This is modified art from a cover of Marvel Comics Presents #112. It’s one of the most erotic images in comics. Damn.

Selene, the Black Queen

This sexpot is pure unmitigated evil. She’s a sorceress and a mutant, and is often the enemy of the X-Men. She’s also essentially a mind-vampire that can psychically steal the souls of poor fools that happen to be on her shit list … or just in the vicinity. Although beautiful, she is artificially so. She’s actually thousands of years old. Still, she can rock a corset and thigh high boots.

Satana

The beautiful daughter of Satan and sister of Daimon Hellstrom is also a succubus (a seductress with demonic powers) like Selene. Her power is odd, however. When she drains the lifeforce from a man, his soul converts into a butterfly. Then, she eats it. Apparently to get at its essence. Seems weird and also redundant. But I’m not going to tell her that.

DiNA Simmons in Crimson Plague

I just found this one in one of the boxes I inherited from a friend. The main character is named DiNA Simmons and is the invention of comics icon George Perez. DiNA is an alien that has blood so acidic that it can melt the bodies of anyone she touches. I have no idea if she’s good or bad because I didn’t read the comic. It was suspended and I hate unfinished stories (yeah, you heard me NBC and Fox … bring back Heroes and The Sarah Connor Chronicles!!). She’s sexy as hell, but here’s a cock blocker — when she has her period, she’s so toxic, she can destroy a planet. Ew.

Deanna Ransome in Down

I like Warren Ellis. His gritty writing is searingly violent at times, but he’s an excellent storyteller. I loved his work in The Punisher. So, I was interested when I scoured through the infamous long box and found a copy of the first issue of Down sitting there. The art is by super-talented Tony Harris and Cully Hamner.

Down is about an undercover cop, Deanna Ransome, who is tasked with hunting down a rogue cop that’s gone all mafioso. Along the way, she encounters several nefarious characters in very bad situations. She’s just a regular Jane, so I wouldn’t have included her in this list except for the fact that she is so violent she shoots off penises and explodes heads. Down was a 4-issue mini-series. I have #1 but I’m not sure if I’m going to get the other three issues. I don’t want to risk pissing her off and losing body parts.

Click for a big scan of the cover of Down #1

And her’s your bonus

Marvel Comics’ Satana reminded me of B-movie actress, Tura Satana and one of the best/worst movie titles ever: Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Tura is a genetic maelstrom made up of Filipino, Japanese, Cheyenne, and Scottish ancestry. Somehow, it ended up creating a very sexy but very frightening woman.

Besides hurting people, Tura was also a burlesque dancer. Here’s Tura in some shots from The Doll Squad. There’s no nudity on the linked pictures, so I’m just having a little fun.