Hotel Carlton (Miami Beach)

Hotel Review

Well. All is not as it seems. The Hotel Carlton in Miami Beach Florida is definitely an inexpensive hotel by Miami Beach standards, but we didn’t expect it to be so rough. The pictures and information on Expedia are deceiving. Here’s what you really get:

  • A typical Collins Avenue Art Deco facade
  • A sad little lounge
  • Help that doesn’t speak much English (por lo minus hablar nosotros muy bueno el espagnol por ser gringos payasos. olé.)
  • A serviceable pool (not bad really)
  • Old stained carpet in the hallway and the room
  • A bed with plywood sheeting as the matress box
  • A closet that looks like it was cobbled together with leftover wood
  • A bathroom that looks like it needs a fresh coat of everything
  • Towels that ought to be tossed and replaced with something that excludes stains
  • A pull-down screen that we were afraid would rip off the window frame
  • Just enough Internet connectivity to write this little nothing of a review
  • An austere decor that says “Complain all you want – you’re in Miami Beach and besides, the hip-set are all out drinking so the hotel room is irrelevant except as a place to crash and sleep off a hangover. So there”

Anyway, here are some pictures.

And here’s  a link to the hotel site.

2 thoughts on “Hotel Carlton (Miami Beach)”

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