OK, this post is completely inappropriate, but it just had to be done.
I think we’ve all noticed how girls tend to like horses. They adorn their walls with posters of the animals, their notebook covers display scenes of horses galloping gaily through a field of alfalfa or something, their screen savers show various shots of their favorite horse pictures downloaded from Pinterest, their calendars have photoshopped images of the animals with long, perfectly groomed manes and glistening coats shining against a backdrop of pastures and mountains … you get my drift. You’ve seen them, right? And if you’re one of the many chicks that visits my blog (seriously? why?), you own one or more of the above.
Over the years, I asked several of my female friends to help me understand why horses appeal so much to women. I got various answers ranging from “they’re just beautiful creatures” to the female stock reply: “because.” OK, well, dogs are beautiful creatures, so are fish, birds, some insects I know, and lobsters (OK, not so much the lobsters), but that doesn’t explain the unusual display of affection women have specifically for horses.
To me, horses are utilitarian animals. They’re can pull a big load and are mostly obedient but a bit oafish, and are far more skittish then their size should merit. My dog may not be able to pull my wagon, but my dog protects me, obeys me pretty much most of the time, and is smart enough to know what’s a real threat and what’s not (OK, except when it comes to the vacuum cleaner and thunder). Don’t get me wrong; every animal deserves life. I just don’t think I’m getting enriched by being around horses.
Anyway, I chalked the girls-love-horses phenomenon up to that whole “men don’t get women” thing until one day, a female friend finally confirmed what I’ve always suspected but thought might be too ridiculous to be true: it’s sexual. To quote her: “Women like horses because they are huge dildos.”
And there you have it.
Here’s an image I just had to make. It’s Not Safe For Work probably, so click with care.