So, here’s the story.
The Almighty God grew disillusioned. Poverty, wars, horrors that Man (and Woman, since inclusion is important) perpetuate on each other, and worst of all, indifference, led to serious soul-searching and questioning. He had plenty of Time on His hands since he had invented it so He took a break from His daily (millennial) activities and sequestered Himself in his study. Eventually, He concluded that it was incompatible with His teachings to allow such things. What would be the point after all? Learning through suffering? Exquisite bliss after terrible pain? Organization from chaos for the sake of … what? He was both outraged and dismayed.
His cherubim and seraphim noticed the change in His demeanor. There’s nothing quite like Godly trembling, and the Hosts of Heaven were feeling it. God’s greatest advisers leaned in with their whisperings, the ones that they have murmured to mortals for millenia: “All you need is faith … God knows more than Man; there is always a Divine purpose in His works … In the great books you will find the answers … Those that suffer in His name shall be saved …” The problem is, God Himself penned those fundamental religious truths eons before the dawn of Man and now he was beginning to doubt them. They seemed too convenient, too pat. He hadn’t intended to be so circuitous. The maddening thing was that He was supposed to be Omniscient but there were apparently things even He didn’t know at the outset.
Recently, as theology mixed with increasingly robust information about Existence among the mortals, the talk about Him was evolving too. He had heard things like “God knows All, but He has not yet experienced All. Therefore, in a way, He is still in a process of perfection.” It sounded good and for a while He pleased Himself with their philosophies. However, it didn’t take Him long to realize He had been taken by the “philosophies of Man,” which He had railed against specifically because they were flawed and self-serving. After all, the mortals were just speaking whatever made them comfortable in the moment, tacking on “, from God” to the end of their statements, and slipping back again into momentary denial.
But in the end, it kept coming back to The Plan. What had started out as an ambitious project to organize the cosmos and spawn creatures that could recognize and worship His existence had led to a sense of pointlessness. So, lacking faith, He tossed aside His Truths and in doing so ceased to exist.
We’re all alone now. What now? So what.
And, there you have it. Another Philosophy of Man, this time at the hands of the cynics from Comics A-Go-Go! Because, why not? Until God actually pens a real book and comes down for a signing, we’ll stick with our pessimism, perhaps.