We took too long to do the previous post on the Tsar Bomba, (the most powerful bomb ever exploded by mankind (or in this case madkind)), so we didn’t finish some additional images we set aside for the festivities. Here are the leftovers.
Remember the “Duck and Cover” campaign during the Cold War? No? Not that old are you? Yeah, us neither, so here’s a synopsis. During the 1950s and up until the 1980s, school children were shown movies or slide shows with an animated turtle named Bert instructing them on how to react appropriately in the event of a nuclear bomb attack. The idea was that if the children saw a flash, instead of running to the window to see what on Earth it was all about, they should instead drop to their knees, crawl under their desks, and cover themselves up with clothing as best as possible to minimize the effects of heat from the atomic blast.
While this practice actually is practical for things like earthquakes and storms, and we don’t doubt that it would be effective to a degree if the duck-and-coverers are on the extreme outer perimeter of the nuclear blast circle , the whole idea of needing to teach kids to duck and cover is enough to drive a turtle to drink. Did you notice that the mascot for Homeland Security isn’t Bert the Turtle? Yeah, six rounds at the Betty Ford clinic and it’s pretty much lights out for this guy. Word has it that Tommy the Terrorist-Eating Tiger is getting his game face on and is about ready to tell us what to do in case some deluded Saudi or Egyptian decides to drive a truck of primed fertilizer into a school. Of course, Pistol Pete the Protective Possum is nowhere to be found when kids and teachers aren’t sure what to do as an unhinged lunatic is at home preparing an assault against them. What the hell is wrong with us?