Peter Parker is dead. Or is he?

Amazing Spider-manOK, it’s so cliché, we shouldn’t oughta even do this post, but since when has Comics A-Go-Go! shied away from tepid controversy and blatantly lazy journalism?

Peter Parker died recently in issue #700. Up next? Doc Ock takes the reigns as the latest clone-tastic iteration of our favorite webslinger. Apparently he enters Parker’s body in some sort of mind transfer thing or something. Mary Jane Watson gains 80 pounds (which, if rumors are correct, is to prep movie audiences for Christina Hendricks‘ casting as Mary Jane in the Amazing Spider-man movie sequel). Aunt May is resuming her romance with Otto but is secretly plotting his murder. George Bernard Shaw makes a guest appearance. And Ambush Bug crosses over from DC and saves the universe again.

Superior Spider-man #1
Peter meet Otto. Otto meet Peter. OK, discuss.

Sooooo, let’s see what you think about all of this.

Spider-man TV show 1978
After the arrest, Peter spent time as Kingpin’s bitch in prison. How’s that for a storyline?

What about the possibility that Peter Parker truly is a goner? Well, not likely since he is already not dead-dead. His spirit-essence thing is bopping around somewhere vowing to make a return. So it’s really just a matter of when, right? OK, let’s see if y’all are deluded.

Spider-man
Don’t fret, little ones. Spider-man has “died” many times.

And, who’s the mamacita that would best work her magic as the inimitable Mary Jane Watson?

Mary Jane Watson
Well, it would certainly be an interesting twist, now wouldn’t it?

Peter, Peter, Villain Beater,
Had a wife that was a cheater;
He put her in a web cocoon,
and might not let her out ’til June.

Peter Parker, fare thee well, you old soul. See you soon in the funny papers.

Spider-man, Death of Peter Parker

And here’s your bonus: The Amazing Spider-man #700 Variant Cover by Joe Quesada.

Joe Quesada, Spider-man

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