King of Spain slaughters an elephant

Well, it was bound to happen. A royal has finally disappointed us.

King Juan (pronounced “Jew-awn” by our British friends) Carlos (pronounced “Charlie” by our North Dakotan friends) reached back into his ancestry and pulled out a box of barbarism. In it was a big gun, a tacky vest, and a complete disregard for one of the most intelligent, socially sophisticated, and essentially completely vulnerable beings left on the planet. Off he went to Botswana, leaving about a quarter of his subjects standing at the unemployment line during a crushing recession. Yay, isolated entitlement!

King of Spain

Want to hear some irony? Juan Carlos is the Honorary President of the World Wildlife Federation. Yay, hypocrisy!

This just continues to prove the point that in situations where political (or “honorary”) figures have no accountability to their people they will create opportunities for massive abuse of power. King Juan Carlos’ trip cost the Spanish population about $50,000. Yay, antipathy!

Royalty

We actually kind of liked Ol’ Juan. He had the balls to tell Hugo “El Gremlín” Chavez to shut up one time.  Damn his eyes for letting us down!

And yes, being Americans makes it easy to “armchair” the corrupt celebrities of other countries. So, here’s a snapshot of a couple of our own entitled royals.

Corrupt politicians
Rod and Patti Blagojevich. Corruption in the 21st Century? You'd better believe it.

And Angelina, whom we admire for her philanthropy, doesn’t really need an expensive piece of luggage to travel to Africa. Why not buy some bags from the female entrepreneurs in the fair trade Rwandan basket maker community? Or something.

Celebrities
Angelina's on her way to feed hungry African children with her snappy new Louis Vuitton luggage. Poverty has never been so stylish!

All this disgust needs to be toned down for our rather superficial blog. So, we’ve enlisted the boys from Moxy Früvous to perform their smash hit “King of Spain.” Perhaps they can teach Juan Carlos some “humble pie.” Here it is, your moment of levity:

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