Kim Kardashian to be the new mayor of Glendale California

As if the poor state of affairs in the poor state of California wasn’t bad enough, Kim “Better than Paris, at least” Kardashian is planning to run for mayor of the soon-to-be-even-more beleaguered City of Glendale. Kim is running on an independent ticket with an undeveloped platform. However, the wogs inside the I-5/Ventura/Glendale beltway generally agree that she will develop a socially liberal, fiscally conservative policy. Comics A-Go-Go! would like to go on record that we are predicting a socially irresponsible, fiscally reprehensible policy.

Politics

In a recent survey, Glendale residents expressed their frustrations with the Glendale city council. Asked who they would choose as mayor in a theoretical race, 47% chose Kardashian, the highest percentage for any answer. At a distant second was Edward Furlong, although a quick reconnoiter of the metro area indicated that he may no longer be alive.

Politics

Kardashian has already received some tacit support from fellow Armenian-American and second cousin,  Daron Malakian (previously and maybe presently of System of a Down).  Daron stated through a spokeswoman yesterday: “Why not? It’s about time we had a prominent member of the AA [Armenian-American] community running things. Clearly Kim has the political savvy and economic foresight to turn things around in our town. We’re tired of being the ugly little sister of Burbank.”

Nuclear Explosions
Copyright Google and such.

Apparently, Kim’s research on mayoral candidacy was limited prior to her public announcement. Glendale doesn’t have a direct election for mayor. Instead, the populace elects city council members and they rotate through one-years assignment as mayor. We suspect that once Kim discovers that reality, she will become bored with the level of commitment and will return to being incomprehensibly rich and thoroughly irrelevant.

Politics
Wah! Bring me my royal threads, beeyatches! Now, now now!

We are sensing that we are being unfair. Attacking our other famous peers is shameful and useless. As fellow celebrities, it’s easy for us to make armchair critiques but that doesn’t make it right. Kim is most likely a lovely person and … or, whatever.

Celebrity Pictures
God made Kim this way.
Celebrity Pictures
Dr. Harry H. Saltanna, MAC Cosmetics, and the Cosmopolitan creative team made Kim this way.

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