Asma al-Assad falls out of favor

Wizard of Damascus
Asma recently attempted to purchase Dorothy's Ruby Slippers but Glinda cast a spell on her so now Asma has painful plantar warts.

Comics A-Go-Go! has written a few times about the contempt we have for Asma al-Assad, the First Lady and Royal Highn-ass of the Syrian dictatorship.  As much as we were led to believe she was the Middle Eastern equivalent to Princess Di, sadly, she has demonstrated a lack of concern for the plight of her fellow people whereas Diana had a caring spirit in spades. Now that the walls are crumbling in Damascus (albeit only one brick at a time), one would think Asma would express concern about the affairs of the state. Apparently not. She seems to be much more concerned about the price of vases and shoes at Harrod’s than the destruction of Homs. That will shortly be coming to an end (see link to article below).


Bashar al-Assad continues to cast a long, gawky shadow across the people of Syria after succeeding his father, the tyrant Hafez, to the throne. Whereas Hafez was mostly a regional player, Bashar (probably in large part to his beautiful and trendy wife) has had a greater presence on the world stage. Given Europe’s fawning attention up until the crackdown, Bashar would have received enthusiastic support and adulation in bringing his country out of the despotic hegemony of his tribe’s rule. To a large degree, Syria is secular which in the Middle East should have meant greater freedoms of religion and other basic democratic rights (prove us wrong), but like the dictatorship of the Shah of Iran, it just served to oppress his people by fracturing any possibility of a strong religious counter-force. Side note: Take care, people of Syria. The lessons of Iran should be present when the regime finally falls.

Beaker the Muppet and Bashar al-Assad the despot
Inseparable as children, Beker and Bashar al-Assad both pursued prestigious careers: Beker became a chemist with Syrian Petroleum Company and Bashar an ophthalmologist. Relationships have been strained recently, however, as Beker demonstrates his support for small democratic reforms while Bashar continues to consolidate his dictatorship.

Anyway, Asma, time for you and your Muppet of a Man to go away and we sure as hell hope you don’t end up with sanctuary somewhere in a friendly country. But of course you will. Because that’s what happens in these situations. The world is unfair.

Syrian First Lady


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3 thoughts on “Asma al-Assad falls out of favor”

  1. In reality Russia has ltilte influence or strategic interest in Syria. Besides, Syria isn’t exactly using up any sophisticated weapons in the revolt that would require resupply… bullets can be be manufactured locally. I am always sceptical when news like this is floated, it doesn’t pass logical muster. Turkey on the other hand, well it has a great deal of strategic interest in Syria and doesn’t want a full blown civil war breaking out next door.

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